Category Archives: Chad Johnson

We’re strangely surprised that the New England Patriots’ star wideout Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson drove around in a baby-blue Hummer H2 while he played for the Cincinnati Bengals. It not a bad ride by any stretch of the imagination, we just expected him to be driving around in something less common, like a Donk with butterfly doors and a spoiler, or something weird. Either way, we’re not sure how the H2 is handling the weather up in New England , but it got by in Ohio, so we imagine it’s ok. However, we think his tires are a bit thin for the blizzards up in the north east; after all, it’d be kind of dumb to get stuck in the snow inside of a big truck. He should at least put chains on the tires, maybe be the first person to winterize his wheels with platinum. If he does that, he could also get a matching baby-blue fur coat and hat, then change his plate to “OCHOCINCOLD”…just a thought.